How to Offend a Bihari

Humor is tricky, sarcasm, trickier. The biggest trick is to make people understand that you actually meant the thing the other way round and were just being sarcastic. But then a sarcasm explained is sarcasm wasted, there is some saying like that right?

Last time I was on my way home a guy got in my AC compartment. He intimidated me making me feel that now I am in his area so he has a birth right on my reserved seat. After taking my seat wrongfully he started talking about how Bihar is progressing and is number 1 in the country.

Why I’m writing this is because a few days back I wrote a sarcastic blogpost, in plain humor. It was a mistake because I chose the wrong audience. Who were these audiences, you’ll ask me. The simple minded folks from my home state Bihar. The blog post hit some 700 views in an hour because what I wrote was taken as a personal offence by citizens of Bihar. Soon my blog notifications drowned in a plethora of abuses aimed at me and my family members from near and far. Although there were a couple of comments trying to miserably justify that what I have written is wrong. Others simply choose to give me some facts about glorious history of Bihar, number of IAS and Engineers that the states produce every year. But the fact is that there was no need for those justifications at all.

Anyways I was forced to delete that post and cry at sense of humor of these idiots. Anyways after giving a thought on what went wrong I came to a conclusion that it is really easy to offend us.

Some easy ways to offend us

  1. Say something nice – We cannot accept anything nice said to us. We consider it a matter of personal shame to hear kind words. If a non-Bihari starts talking nice things about the states and people of that state there are heavy chances that it will be considered sympathy talk by one of us. Talk nice and be ready to hear a lecture on how we Biharis don’t need sympathy. Fuck you and your kindness we are good on our own.
  2. Criticize – Talking about what is wrong with us, our lifestyle is the biggest crime of all. I mean who wants to hear about people leaving Bihar like migratory Birds, who wants to hear that we don’t value our own language and culture and dump them off once we are out of the state for good (or bad). No one wants to hear the truth. In reality we are bunch of insecure people trying hard to prove that we are the best when we are not. Every year we create lakhs of slaves in name of Engineers who love to get buttfucked by their bosses sitting abroad, none of whom are from Bihar FYI.
  3. Tell a Bihari about his lingo, the daily words we used to use once upon a time before ditching our home state, the food we used to eat and the games we used to play and it brings insecurities of people portraying us as villagers. You fucking morons, that is the part of your lifestyle, that doesn’t make you a villager.
  4. We are poor, backward and have to achieve a lot that we are never going to because people keep migrating. But the amount of self-righteousness and bigotry that we people have is compared to none. Let there be a tweet or a news article criticizing us and there will be a plethora of posts, comments and blog articles in defense (I am expecting a few for this one).

Biharis are the Indians of the world, do the same to an Indian, let an international leader or a news article speak about our plight and the same thing happens on a much larger scale. It’s all about outrage because we ourselves are not confident about our existence.

I am sure that blog post is going to be bombarded with people taking offense by people taking personal offence on each word. People who think they have responsibility of Bihar’s image on their shoulders and that it’s their birth right to feel offended. What bunch of idiots we are.

On a side note: You have balls to bombard opinions with comments and spam, if you had enough balls you would have returned to your home state working on something productive.

2 thoughts on “How to Offend a Bihari

Add yours

  1. Loved it.. Just simply loved it!! The problem is that, we react because we ourselves believe we can be put down by anyone..!! I’m sorry but when people address us as Bihari, we get offended..why?? I’m a bihari and I’m quite proud about it.. I take it with full pride!!
    The time you start appreciating yourself.. People would start celebrating you 🙂 kudos for the post!

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