I quit smoking in 2010, it was a huge tough process that I went through in this phase as for a person like me for whom smoking was a part of his lunch, dinner and breakfast had all of a sudden deal with absolutely not even touching it.
So why am I writing this blog today? No, it’s not an anniversary of the last time I touched a cigarette. I am writing this today after having a chat on this topic with few acquaintances made me think about it.
This conversation usually starts with
‘Do you smoke?’
‘No, I quit smoking long time back.’
‘Wow man, such a role model you are.’
And it goes on with people asking weird questions.
Yesterday it was a weird day with a lot of weird questions got thrown at me and it made me think whatever I went through was even worth it. If I had continued smoking my life would be different than what it is today or worse.
Back in days I was a chain smoker, I was baap of all chain smokers and there was a reason. Cigarette was the only companion I had at that time apart from bunch of selfish friends who only looked for me when they ran out of money to smoke. Cigarette used to be there when I used to feel sad or angry or frustrated with my life and I had no place to vent it out anywhere.
There someone enters my life and forces me to quit smoking and then herself goes out of my life. I lost two friends at the same time. Now I am again sad and angry and frustrated with my life and I have nothing to vent that frustration out. At times I had urge to smoke, go touch that elegant size zero figure again and pull her around my lips and forget for a while if the world around me exists, but no I never did that and probably will never do that again.
But then to get rid of an addiction I got addicted to other things. I got addicted to books that at least cost 20 times more than what a price of cigarette used to be, I got addicted to collecting action figures on a bigger level that makes me almost bankrupt every month and I got addicted to social media because no place is as good as this where you can sit all day and vent out whatever shit that comes into your mind but then social media is zillion times worse addiction than a cigarette. Smoking a cigarette just takes 5 minutes of life but social media can kill one full day.
One more thing, 3 year back I used to weigh 52 kgs with a mosquitoeish body that couldn’t even take a walk for 15 minutes straight. Today I can walk for hours without getting tired but then what is the use? I waste all my money on travelling and today weigh 78 kgs because I started to eat more. I am turning fat, something that I hated all my life.
But then you turn into what you hate the most.
Anyways I hope my story doesn’t inspires any smoker to quit smoking and try to do good for themselves because I am yet to see anything good that happened to me after leaving that phase. Atleast I thought my ex-girlfriend who made me leave smoking would respect my decision and will stay in my life for long but even she left.
I leave it on you people to decide if what I did was worth it or I just ended up making a fool out of myself.