Before you start reading this blog I want to clarify that this blog was not inspired from anyone else’s blog, in-fact I was planning to write this for a long time but laziness was not letting me do it. Also grammar Nazis beware, I am going to disappoint you.
Ok so here is a blog post on how journey of a tweeter. How it starts and follows and where it ultimately goes. There are lots of clubs on twitter, there are certain clubs I don’t even know about and some of them are too serious or moronic to even get into. I follow and get followed by my kind of tweeps ( who are the most superior of all 😛 ) but let whatever be the story everyone goes through these stages in some or other way.
At first all of us have made an account on twitter because of certain reason, let whatever be it. It starts with making an account on twitter and then wherever be the mission be and then it don’t takes time to find people of your kind. Like every tribe there is a king of tribe and then followers. If you are a fan of Justin Beiber you’ll find other retards who like the same, Sitcom lovers find people of their own kind and so on. Like this twitter journey starts.
Now after twitter journey hunger of followers start and the best way to gain followers is by following people with lot of rep on twitter but no celeb complex. These tweeps you’ll identify in no time and I term them as twitter godfathers (or godmother if there is a word like that :P). For example people interested in Shayari mention people who are the master of this talent e.g. my friend
@Haloedevil started as a talented shayar and slowly got promoted within the ranks and now every shayari is approved via her RTs. When I joined twitter funny people used to mention @CoolfunnyTshirt and @Pal36 for RTs because that is the easiest way to get followers. These days @Oinkoo @IndianTweeter and @Ra_Bies lead this band. @EkCupCoffee leads the Sitcom group, there are emo girls who RT any emo shit that is mentioned to them. People with some multicultural background immediately spot @SunithaNahar as their team leader :D. Girly-girls get easy followback by other girly-girls and if you are a cute looking guy then they will give you a followback too :P. And those who fail to find people of their kind end up in good morning, good night gang :P.
Another variation of this stage is trolling. You can also gain followers by trolling and fighting with real life celebs, jurnos etc who don’t give a flying fuck about your opinions but that way you make a lot of increase in follow count.
After above stage which is infact the toughest stage of all some fail, some pass and some find ways to buy followers. The moment you cross 1000 followers your next stage starts, newbies going through first stage start doing the same to you and in this race some of them cross your mark faster than you, meaning they get into stage 2 club even faster. During this stage you get confidence to sly-tweet others and make guts to unfollow your twitter godfather. Here people also gain confidence to add cute people on facebook and gtalk. :P.
This stage is like Bigg Boss the more people know you more famous you get. You can do this via blogging (what I am doing :P) , picking fights with other tweeps or showing other talents. Other factors include like getting RTed by Faking News or some other Celeb and getting a tweet fav’ed by the great grandfather of twitter @Shakti_Shetty and if you follows you back (In a rarest of rarest case) your life is successful. :P. Also here you stop mentioning your godfather because they have made you capable of continue on your own and they are busy helping some other lesser being.
After this once you are all set you can go different ways, you can become a full-fledged twitter celeb, you can become a godfather yourself or stay normal as usual and keep getting accused of being a celeb by tweeps in former stages. Either way your life is ruined now, congrats for that.
So this was life cycle of a tweep, I missed a few points but I don’t think they are that important.
PS: If you are a girl then you don’t even need to try this hard for followers. Just keep changing DPs.
PPS: I am not writing this blog to please anyone so if you think so I don’t care.
PPPS: Please don’t kick my ass if I have not mentioned you here I wanted to keep this post like title describing my blog. 😦
PPPPS: If you have seriously read this post think it will help you getting famous on twitter then poor you.
PPPPPS: If this blog helps you getting famous on twitter then you can give me some dakshina, I have not problem with that. 😀
PPPPPPS: hehe 😛