Torture of the Year: The Review

I generally don’t review movies unless they are belong to certain special category like this one. So what does Karan Johar gets when he watches 90210, Glee and High School Musical, other than getting lot of pedophile feelings he gets an idea for bollywood version of all the three bulshit combined which he pens as student of the year. 
The movie suffers with 90210 effect only where the teenage looking convincing cast is replaced with some dumb actors in their 20s who are still studying in 12th standard. While the movie goes in flashbacks so all the need to do in present to look a bit older is to increase their facial hair, both male and female does that.  And then there are silly attempts to break the fourth wall trying to tell the audience what happened which not only looks retarded but even kills the concept of fourth wall.
You must be wondering why the hell I went to watch the movie. Well I am still wondering about the same and it took me a week to gather my senses to write about it. Most heartbreaking part is once upon a time bollywood gave us school like Gurukul in Mohabbatain and now that level came down to St. Teresa in SOTY. Once we had a badass principal like Amitabh Bacchan who was feared even by distant schools, now we have Rishi Kapoor.
Let’s talk about the cast first. The movie has two retards out of many retards Siddharth and Varun, both of them look like my college seniors who failed in engineering for 8 year continuously and then left in search of truth. Then we have the fatass Aliya Butt err Bhatt the product of the Bhatt Camp who looks like a perfect product for their next movie, if it is Raaz 3 or Murder 3 or whatever as she looks as expressionless as any of the actresses Bhatts have ever given except Sunny Leone. There is Sana Saeed, remember the cute little kid in Kuch Kuch Hota Hai? Well she got ugly as she grew up and last but not the list we have a parsi actor who looks like Karan Johar’s illegitimate child and carries all his traits the way he walks and talks. There are few more retards in the movie and outside watching it.
I grew up in a small town so I don’t have much idea about how different the education system is on Mars. Everything in this movie is out of the world and makes no sense. The school is spread in such a big area that even puts Rashtrapati Bhavan to shame and except these 6 or 7 students and few side actors you’ll hardly see anyone else in the campus and yes it is totally cool to roam around wearing anything or nothing because the school has no uniform or even it has one, the principal is dumb enough that no-one give a damn.
Now here is how one can be Student of the Year, few tips and tricks.
1.       Don’t study. Come to school, don’t bring any kind of notebook, books, pen, pencil, eraser or anything that one needs for classroom because there are no classes because whole school has one PT Teacher and a dumb principal and a guest appearance Hindi teacher may be.
2.       Bring costly cars in the campus, because who cares if you are 16 you already look like you have crossed your 20s so no one is going to check about it.
3.       For ladies, it is very important keep your skirt size by the standards of this blog. For more read about me.
4.       You don’t need to care about your future, IIT, engineering anything because by the end the scripts will make you a millionaire like Karan Johar became one by selling his dumb movies.
5.       Your parents should be out of this world too.
6.       You may belong to a poor family but you have enough money to wear costly clothes throughout the movie because script asks you for it. You may keep your bike dirty because you are poor.
7.       This is the only school which does competition on the basis of reality shows, elimination rounds without actual judging and normal competition so be ready for that.
8.       Last but not the least, Do everything but no studies. Did I say that earlier? Well never mind
So the movie goes around a stupid 25 year old competition which actually conceptualized reality show elimination format and ignored all the normal competition norms, I cannot understand how can a school have this dumb principal for so long. My school would have kicked him out in first year itself but then I studied on Earth. A school where time is spend on Thailand tour, singing, underage drinking and smoking, rash driving, body building makes you student of the year because whoever the college topper is doesn’t deserves to be one. He is already given Dork of the Year title somewhere during the interval.  AND YES THANKS FOR RUINING ONE OF MY FAVOURITE SONGS EVER DISCO DIWANE AND RAPING THE SHIT OUT OF IT.
Anyways the movie tells you what student should not be like and it ends with two retarded assholes running as screen fades to the end while every retard watching the movie runs out of the theater.
Yes I watched this movie, in theaters, first day first show. Am I gonna get something of the year title too?

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